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Eleanor B. Alter repeatedly has been recognized as one of the nation’s top family law attorneys. Throughout her 40-plus year career, she has represented high profile clients, business owners, attorneys and their spouses, and in 2016 co-founded the boutique family law firm Alter, Wolff & Foley LLP. Alter has acted as an expert witness to New York law and argued appeals in the various judicial departments of New York State, been a frequent lecturer nationwide and internationally, served as an adjunct professor at New York University School of Law and the University of Chicago School of Law, and contributed articles to various legal journals.
When Alter entered Harvard Law School in 1961 and graduated from Columbia Law School in 1964, it still was unusual for women to become attorneys. Alter, however, came from a family of lawyers, including both of her parents. “They believed it was the greatest profession in the world and talked about it constantly,” Alter said. “I was exposed to law at a very young age. My father, who was the Chief Judge of the New York Court of Appeals, would take me to the state legislature. We would even vote on cases at dinner time.”
In spite of her early and extensive exposure to the law, Alter didn’t want to a lawyer when she was young. She felt more compelled to become a doctor or anthropologist. But from the moment she audited her first law school class as an undergraduate, she changed her mind and decided to become an attorney.
There were only 12 women in Alter’s class at Harvard law, and just a few more in her class at Columbia. She had not one female professor to look to as a role model. Fortunately for Alter, her father supported and inspired her. “He was a feminist and thought women could do anything,” Alter said.
As a lawyer, Alter feels she has tapped into her life purpose. “It is productive and meaningful work. My purpose is to do something that has a positive effect for people, whether it’s my clients, students or the people I work with. As long as you do your job well and adhere to ethical rules, you are producing good for people as an attorney.”
Specifically, Alter enjoys that part of her work is keeping apprised of current events and politics, and feels that it is important to stay informed. Furthermore, she loves that, “you’re never bored as a lawyer. The laws change, taxes change and people change. It’s a living, breathing moving thing that evolves every day. For example, transgender issues were never brought up 30 years ago (although that doesn’t mean they didn’t exist). Now they come up often.”
In terms of family law, Alter enjoys getting to know her clients, whom she finds fascinating. The issues also can be ethically complex. “Your clients want you to do what they want you to do, but you have to be willing to do the right thing – and kids come first. Sometimes the line is blurred so you have to draw it clearly. When you do, people will trust you more.”
It can be challenging as a family lawyer because “so much emotion and discretion is involved,” Alter explained. “You’re dealing with emotions such as anger, fear, sadness and greed. You see good people at their worst. Separating yourself from those emotions at the end of the day can be difficult at times.”
Nevertheless, Alter embraces the challenge and finds it makes her work more interesting and meaningful, and has even helped to make her a more compassionate person. “My career has taught me that you can’t put your value system onto your clients. It’s not fair. One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is not to judge people so much. There are usually reasons why people do the things they do.”
For young people looking to tap into their life purpose, Alter has this advice. “Find what you’re really interested in. Do your research, identify your interests and build a career around that. Don’t be afraid to make a commitment. While you should be motivated to be independent financially, getting into something strictly for money or because of family pressure is a terrible mistake.”
